Sex shows and polygamists

More about last night, and that guy. First of all - he is most definately trouble. Anybody who laughs at the same sick-humor parts of the Sopranos that I do, and who produly displays a cell phone video of his coworker getting down to that "what is love" song is most definately going to get me into al il trouble. Anyway, there was some show on one of the HBO's about orgasms. It showed middle aged people having sex. I have to say, it was sort of like a car crash. So horrible and yet you cant look away. What didn't help, however, was my neighbor Anthony. This woman is having an orgasm that made her sound like someone was performing surgery without anasthestia, and Anthony goes "what is that?" Larry replies "thats an orgasm Anthony". "Have you ever given a woman one of those, Larry?" ummm....rewind to the part where hes playing with this woman's horribly droppy breasts and nipples. "Do you do that Larry?" Oh good god. I didnt dare look at a soul in the room. I have Jed at my feet on the chair and Andy to my left. I kept drinking more water because I kept feelign a giggle in my throat. It was horrid. My poor baby sister is stuck on the couch next to Anthony, and in between his saying "I hope they show more footage so I can get tips", he's saying "you ok Courtney? You uncomfrtabl? Are you ok?" Courtney would later say it wasnt even the video that was making her uncomfortable, but his side comments. Interesting night. This was after watching a show about a polygamist with 3 wives, on HBO. I dunno about those guys.

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Oh come on!

So my neighbor vagina blocked me last night - the bastard! Went over what seems to be becoming a weekly event where I go over (this time with my sister), and a few of their friends come over, and we all eat sundaes and crap food and watch the Sopranos. Well, one of their friends is fairly decent looking. I'm not looking for a relationship or even al ay right now, just someone to flirt with and to distract me. Well this kid does a spectacular job of that, so that makes me happy (and so does his nice lil body). ANYWAY, i digress. Typically I sit on the couch and thi skid makes some smartass comment about whetehr I'll be sharing the couch today. Naturally I say yes. He sits down. Later, before the show starts, he gets up to play darts.. My frickin neighbor plops his ass on the other end of the couch, stretches out, and doesn't budge all the way thorugh the show. You fucker Later on I'm massaging one of my other neighbors (there are 3 of them there) and "the kid" asks if he's next. My sister starts giving him a mmassage and after my neighbor leaves, my sis sends "the kid" over my way. I'm giving him a rub down, he has his head on my chest and Im thinking "sweet, this is easily the most action I've seen in 3 weeks". Cockpblock boys kicks him out of my lap. Oh what the fuck. So "the kid" semi-ignores him....ock block boy "no seriously Andy, it's my turn, get up". WHAT THE FUCK JED?!? COCK BLOCK! COCK BLOCK ::points at cock block boy:: Not wantign to seem liek an asshole, Andy gets up, I say nothing, and proceed to rub Jed's shoulders that are NOT even tight. I will say that Andy tried the "this actually feel really good cuz I just lifted weights yesterday" line, which I chose not to even respond to. I don't go for that meathead shit. I don't think he was trying to be a meathead - I mean, judging by the size of his arms, anyone would know he works out, I think he was just trying ot justify why he was practically orgasming in my lap and falling asleep at the same time. Either way, I'm gonna kick Jed's ass.

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Everything's coming up roses.

I love when stupid little things just fall into place. Saw this perfuem i really like when I was at the mall the other day, but have no money. The next day my neighbr gives me a gift card for 25.00 as a thank you gift for helping her out when she had to go to the E.R. I go off today and buy the perfume and some lip gloss, but the total comes ot 1.50 more than the car. Wait just a moment, didn't I happen to slip some jeans on today and find 2.00 in them? SCORE! AND i found .50 in my purse (a rarity...not hte 50 cents, just finding something in my purse...). I pay...leave...and head off to TJ Max where I score 2 really funky purses for crazy cheap. Thigns are looking it.

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lollipop of doom.

I cut my tongue on a lollipop today. Don't ask how, I really don't know. I was eating my second tootsiroll lollipop thinking about the owl in the "how many licks does it take" commercial, and how i really miss that lil guy, when it happened. I guess i can sorta relate it to feeling like someone sliced your tongue with a lil shard of glass maybe? I remember carefulyl examining the lollipop, thinking of horror stories about strange objects found in food. Could some sick fuck have put glass in my lollipop? Um no Meghan, get a freakin grip. Apparently those things are sharp if you melt 'em just the right way. needless to say, I have a lot of tiny paper cuts on my tonue, the lollipop was tasty, and I'm partying hard at my friend's tonight. Totally unrealted statements, but hey...that's the way the cookie crumbles.

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Drama Drama Drama

My sister moved out last night. She decided to go live with her psychotic boyfriend. He's bipolar, and that's only one of his problems. The bipolarness isn't even really a "problem", per se. i know plenty of people with bipolar disorder that lvie normal happy lives. It's that in conjunction with his addiction to weed, and the fact that he's a first class asshole that makes it a problem. My parents told her weeks ago if she deicded to get back togehter with Senor Douchebag, she'd be outta here. The guy has wreeked enough havoc in this house to last a lifetime. Whether she thought my parents were screwing around, I dunno. But the idiot sat my mom down last night and said she wants to see if he's changed. Sorry, but nobody changes in a month, and nobody "changes" per se anyway. They mature, grow up, but deep down they are still the same asshole they were before, only a little wiser. I don't mind that she moved out; we all will at some point. It's WHY she moved out that pisses me off. I could slap him in his face, I swear. I had to walk past him so quickly last night because the urge to whack him in the back of his head was so strong. Knowing the jackass he'd have pressed charges, so I powered walked to my bedroom and distracted myself on the computer. Hopefulyl she'll wisen up and come home and lose the moron.

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Dream Job

I have realized that my ideal job would be to sit around and basically do nothing. Actually, my ideal job would be to sit around OUTSIDE (in nice weather of course), and basically do nothing (preferably on a beach). I should lifeguard or something. I'll make 5 dollars an hour, and you can all support me. Sound good? Now we have 2 jars you can add money to - the "Meghan cannot legally or phsyically work right now jar", and the "Meghan wants to be lazy and never have to work and sit in the sun and get wrinkly so lets support her sorry ass" jar. Any takers?

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Morning Ramble

Another beautiful day. I have PT this morning, then I plan to plant my ass somewhere in the sun with my book and not move for a good few hours. Spring is finally here. I'll bet we get a fucking blizzard in April. I'm sitting here contemplating life this morning. I had some screwed up dreams last night. The kind where I had to wake up and remind myself of a few things so I didn't get sad or annoyed. ANYWAY....I just opened up my windows - that clean spring smell is working it's way into my room...I can hear the birds outside chirping away - i LOVE it. My family is doing a cheer, my sister just left for work that is at least 10 blogs within itself that frankl, I don't feel like writing, so think up what you will...). I bought a new hat yesterday. I pulled a plastic finger that farted in Spencers gifts and the kid gave me 20% off any item. Naturually, I couldnt pass this up - it was only for that day SOOOOooo for those that have not seen my new hat, it's below. Pretend to care.

ANYWAY..enough about my hat. I need some friggin money. I am now accepting donations to the "Meghan is not allowed to physically or legally work" fund.Place it in the glass jar located next to my computer monitor. I plan to go for a niiiiiiiice long walk today to decompress. No idea where I will go, but since walking is pretty much all I'm allowed to do right now (jogging move too much of the upper body), I plan to take a nice long one. I desperately need to clean my room. With all that has been going on in my life, I'm surprised it stayed as clean as it did for as long as it did....but it's time. When it gets to the point where I don't even enjoy being in here then I know it neesd to be cleaned. I feel like I am changing. Things are really coming into perspective. I'm getting a different view of life...I can't go into it yet. I'm still trying to hash thorugh things..but the possibilities are endless.

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Mental Update #2

Ahh what a beeaaauuuttiiffuull day. I am sitting here trying to type as quickly as I can and get my work done so I can get my lil booty outside. This whetehr is liek a drug for me. I feel better, Isleep better, everything is just.....better. I was in such a positive freakin mood yesterday. It was fantastic. I'm feeling better....more every day. I still miss him. I wonder if he's reading this, haha. I just keep telling myself what is meant to be will be. For some reason nice weather makes me want to shop. i feel liek i should be buying a bikini right now and some new shades (since my neighbor fucking has my favorite pair. AHH!) i wanted to blog about somethign funny and witty today. I wanted to write somethign that would makeeveryone smile since we all have so much shit going on right now. Sadly i have nothing. Maybe later on in the day or something. I planted my tulip bubls yesterday. Bryan had given me some flowers (yes you read that correctly), and I had saved the bulbs when the ydied. They were a lil rotten - I should have taken them out of the soil. Oh well. Some still had intact roots so I'll have to see next year. They wont come up again this year.....

I have decided I havent been picky enough about he guys I date. I haev overlooked a lot of shit. After being a roudn all of my guy friends, seeing how they treat women...how they talk to their gf's...i've realized I really haven't dated people that make me feel good about myself, or like they care about me. Lookign back, i realize Bryan has shut himself down emotionally. That's why he can look me in the eye and say shit most guys wouldnt dream of saying; because he doesnt feel, so he doesnt care how it makes me feel. He's channeled himself into this little selfish hole that revovles around him...and if i happened to fit into it then reat! All the shit about not sleeping in tehsame bed; I mean fuck, the day I went to get my shit he was STILL sayign stupid shit about that. Some of his quirks are so damn weird. Yet, i still love him to death - go figure. Anyway..i need ot stop rambling and get this done so i can get my ass outside.

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Here I am.

So my period is sorta late. I was slightly curious about it this morning..but I feel cramps coming on so thats good. Wouldnt that have been the fucking icing on the cake. good lord. anyway......Im bored again...and here I sit writing into cyberspace. Its gorgeous out. I plan to go for a nice long walk in a bit sicne its the only thing Im really allowed to do right now. No work, no working out. nada. I feel liek a fucking caged bird.

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pure random

So the concert was fantastic. Naturally, a guy from the tour took the 2 next to us and put them in the front row as Larry and I sat there openmouthed for a good half hour. Stellar show though almost surreal. What was also surreal was watching all the gusy I'm sued to drinkign with and talkign to climb ladders and shit, knowing I'll probably never chill with them again. Frankly, I'm pretty fuckin sick of hearing about how upset Bryan is. Bryan caused his own sadness by acting impulsively. I lvole him dearly, I miss him terribly, but he caused this. he can't do this shit and think he can just take it back. It doesn't work that way. besides, he has my friggin phone number, last I checked...he can call me. If he is so devestated, would he not be callign em sayign "I made a mistake, lets try again?" I would think so. So he obviously can't be THAT freakin upset. He'd be calling me sayign "I can't do this. I made a mistake, I love you". Maybe he never loved me? Who the hell knows. O miss him like crazy....but he needs to decide what he wants on his own..and for now, I'll be around......hopefully, if he IS going to change his mind..he doesn't witto long. Eventually I'll begin ot move on, and it owuld be that much harder a decision then. Who the fuck knows. I dont wanna go to PT. This blog is random. Why am I blogging about this? Nother profound really..just useless babble that keeps me from ahving to do school work. Joe, my sister mowed the lawn the other day - i couldnt. I was sad, but i thought of you.

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Mental Update

So I'm feeling far more positive. After some very "i loovve you man...no I love you!!" conversations with a bunch of my friends last night, I feel way better. i have realized that no matter what happens, I'm gonna be ok. I have a fucking fantastic support system, and all will be well. Yea I'm gonna have days where I'm liek "this is dumb..this is still dumb..why the fuck is he being dumb? When will I get a car..when will I be a nurse..fuck my neck hurts"..but ya know, then I have a fajita with Tim and Joe or my someone says something that is so fucking ridiuclous that I lauigh for an hour..and I'm like "fuck it, life is good". My neighbors are taking me to see Billy Joel tonight. I am so fucking excited. Very last minute, very phenominal. I'm psyched. I get to see a frickin legend. Weeee! I have to pee, but that requires moving. I alo have work to do for class but have no motivation to do it. I decided to no longer blog on myspace. It's fuckin useless. If I'm gonna blog, I'll use a site devoted to such, and not devoted to getting 12 year olds raped.

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fajitas and farts

Tim and Joe are my heroes. They came and picked me up today and whisked me away for an afternoon of Chiles and secret farts. I turned my rental in today - I officially have no car. Joe called and they came and picked me up - MY HEROES! I had fajitas...then we went to Barnes and Noble for coffee. We spent an hour walking around the store looking for books on the origin of the cow, and staring into nothingness. Turns out we were all silently farting in every area of the store, only to share this humorous coincidence with glee upon returning to the car. So basically, we did absolutely nothing, and it was great. I think I am going out with Meghan and James tonight. It will be good to see them...but weird. James is Bryan's buddy form college. We all always double date. Geranted they have a friend with them, so I will not be the 3rd wheel, but it will be weird being there with James, Meghan, and some other dude other than Bryan. I bought 3 books today to keep myself busy. Something to read, take my mind to another place, ya know? Natanis, I love you sweetie. Hang in there and know we are all thinking of you and are here for you in every way we can be.

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Ode to my friends

I am insanely lucky. No...seriously. I could quite possibly have the greatest group of friends that ever was. Sppanning across the country, and even friggin globe for that matter,(come home from Iraq John, that friggin dump...) you guys are the most supportive and wonderful group of people I have ever met. Regardless of whether I'm celebrating or crying, you guys are always there for me...and you do it genuinly. The past few weeks have sucked; between my car accident and everythign going on with that, not getting into Nursing school (again), amongst other things......you gusy have been fucking phenominal. I was sitting here reading my messages from people yesterday and today, and I got kinda choked up. Know that I realize how lucky I am to have all of you, and that it does not go unnoticed. You may think i don't listen to you, but I hear you all, and I appreciate the messages, the emails, the funny jokes, the drinks you guys buy me to cheer me up, the laughs....all of it. You guys have been my sanity; some of you for almost ten years, others for not so long, but I appreciate it all the same. Thanks - all of you. Seriously..you are all the best. I am so so blessed to know all of you, and to have all of you in my life. Know that I will always be there to listen to all of you the way you do for me. THANKS!

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a bright spot in my day

well i guess it pays to have tits. I went ot Best Buy and the nice guys there not only popped the radio for me, but took the whoel thing out for free. You Guys Rock!!!!! Thank you!!!!

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Bye BYe car

They are towing my car today...or that's what they think they are doing. It ain't happening. Fuck them. I need time to get my CD polayer I paid for out of there and nobody can do that but my father, who is at work, and bsides, fuck them. They can work aroudn me. They stop paying for my rental on Wednesday. I am going to be calrless. They are giving be 1212.00 for my car (where did that 12.00 come from??). I can;t get a good bike for that amount of money. I don't know what to do. I will get money for pain and suffering....hopefully that will be enough to get me something. This is grande.

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mm hmm - thats about how it goes.

I should have known from the burning paper towel that the night would suck. Currently single (?) the night was ridiculous. Not only did I piss Bryan off but I puked on the drum case of the guy in the band. I wasn't even drunk. Just drank vodka and cranberry, my fucking nemesis. So he is on vacation til Tuesday, at which point he will "let me know where we stand". Awesome. Umm what else. Start PT this week if i can get an appointment. I will lose my rental soon. Uh....yea. Long live everything. Another thign I lost. Dead car. Dead fish. Dead relationship...fuckin' weeee!

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interesting pre-gaming...

Ah yes - this St. Paddy's day is starting off grand. I was cooking shrimp on the new stove (with strict orders from my mom to NOT let it boil over into the new burners). Naturally I did. I hastily grabbed a paper towel to sop up the shrimp water. In my fast-cleaning efforts, I somehow got the paper towel to close to the new burners, and it caught on fire. So there I stand - pan with shrimp in it in one hand, quickly burning paper towel in the other. I put the pan back on the stove then threw the paper towel in the sink (mind you the dishwasher was hooked up so Im trying ot press the button to get some of the water to come out of the dishwasher hookup to extinguish the small fire in my sink. Awesome. It can only be smooth sailing from here.....

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R.I.P. P*nis Mobile.

Well - the car assesser guy just left. My car is officially totalled. The guy said "you won't even find a bumper for this car. If you're really set on keeping it you could always bolt a piece of wood to the bumper". What is this, the friggin hood?!?! Um..I'll pass on the usggestion. He's trying to claim my car would go for $50 dollars at an auction and isn't even worth $1000 book value. Harsh! (and not true, Kelly Blue Book says 1625). The guy said I should just settle with whatever they give me, all the way around - including medical. Fuck You. I'm sad. Everything is breaking/dying the past 2 weeks/. I think I'm going into hiding.

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Pre- St. Paddy's Day

Ah yes - it's almost time for St. Paddy's day. Should be a great time. Bry and I are going to James and Meghan's for dinner, the nheading out to Half Door with Toni and Erica (and James and Meghan....?????) Should be a fantabulous time full of good food, good beer, and good friends. Weee!

Sheba The Party Puppy is also excited. She broke out her St Patrick's Day outfit a little early kjust to get everyone in the spirit of things.

I really don't know what that face she is making is for - I think she had just burped (she's classy like me...).

I hope you all have a kick-ass St. Paddy's day. Drink lots, laugh lots, puke little. I'm sure I will have a blog and photos about the night to follow. CHEERS!

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update

Update on the saga de Meghan:

I am going for PT for my neck. woo Hoo! I get to see all my old buddies at P.T. I love them. I have to go to a surgeon for my breast and possibly get a biopsy. The police report was changed - the cops were surprisignly cool/fun/entertaining. Ummm what else. My fish died. Uh...Im tired. I have so much shit to do for school and not even close to enough time to do it all. er...I want a beer. I will also be posting a picture of Sheba in a headband because i thought baout making her weari t while on the ay home before, and I smiled.

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