Snarfenhousen

Tomorrow is my birthday I told my fmaily I don't want a cake or anything; they are pretty pissed. I just don't feel like celebrating it this year. I want a really low-key day. I'm ahving lunch with a friend and dinenr with Bryan and then shooting another video of some godawful band (this is the first show I'm taping that I don't think I'll really enjoy...)I guess I just don't feel like i am proud of anything I have accomplished in the past year - nothing i feel like celebrating. i get to start going back top the gym today. HOORAY! i have felt liek such a lardass not being able to exercise (MOOOOO!) I have drama in my life again. I have not decided if drama finds me or I find drama - but it's there in all it's fucking glory. I'm surprisingly unpahsed by it. I just don't really care. I could be making a humungous life mistake, but you know what? oh well..what else is new? I can't tell if I don't care or I'm I'm just so blah that I don't care. I am actually listening to the radio at home. i NEVER do that, but I'm listneing on the off chance that I actually win Aeromsith tickets. They are on my "must see" list. I'm back in my "what is my purpose in life" mode that I was in a year ago. There are so many things I wanna do - I'm trying to figure out where I fit in....what I'm supposed to do.... I haven't aken many photos lately. I have been so unmotivated and uninspired. I need to go somewhere new. I wonder where Bryan is taking me for dinner. He told me it's a surprise but that if I wanted to ruin the surrpise he could tell me (with all the self cotrnol I have I told him not to tell me). I really hope someone bought me some fricking CD-R's for my birthday or I'm gonna be sad. I have a million CDs to burn. I also hope Bryan got me the headset for my cell phonme that I told him I need. I paid a bill today - on time. WOO HOO! They really need to play these 2 Aeromsoith songs back to back goddammit...so I can go to the gym... - sigh - I'm babbling.