Mental Update #2

Ahh what a beeaaauuuttiiffuull day. I am sitting here trying to type as quickly as I can and get my work done so I can get my lil booty outside. This whetehr is liek a drug for me. I feel better, Isleep better, everything is just.....better. I was in such a positive freakin mood yesterday. It was fantastic. I'm feeling better....more every day. I still miss him. I wonder if he's reading this, haha. I just keep telling myself what is meant to be will be. For some reason nice weather makes me want to  shop. i feel liek i should be buying a bikini right now  and some new shades (since my neighbor fucking has my favorite pair. AHH!) i wanted to blog about somethign funny and witty today. I wanted to write somethign that would makeeveryone smile since we all have so much shit going on right now. Sadly i have nothing. Maybe later on in the day or something. I planted my tulip bubls yesterday. Bryan had given me some flowers (yes you read that correctly), and I had saved the bulbs when the ydied. They were a lil rotten - I should have taken them out of the soil. Oh well. Some still had intact roots so I'll have to see next year. They wont come up again this year.....

I have decided I havent been picky enough about he guys I date. I haev overlooked a lot of shit. After being a roudn all of my guy friends, seeing how they treat women...how they talk to their gf's...i've realized I really haven't dated people that make me feel good about myself, or like they care about me. Lookign back, i realize Bryan has shut himself down emotionally. That's why he can look me in the eye and say shit most guys wouldnt dream of saying; because he doesnt feel, so he doesnt care how it makes me feel. He's channeled himself into this little selfish hole that revovles around him...and if i happened to fit into it then reat! All the shit about not sleeping in tehsame bed; I mean fuck, the day I went to get my shit he was STILL sayign stupid shit about that. Some of his quirks are so damn weird. Yet, i still love him to death - go figure. Anyway..i need ot stop rambling and get this done so i can get my ass outside.